Churches are the catch -all for life. They hold onto the pain that is too great for the human form to maintain, and they set free the binding knots of suffering. Churches look like buildings, but if you will recall "Here is the church, here is the steeple, open the door and see all the people", then you already know that the building is a mere shell. Some bigger, maybe more elaborate than others... A shell nonetheless. When we enter the church, carrying our burdens and sorrows, our weeping wounds, the people inside the church become a part of all of that with us. It's called community. Even when we don't care to share, we do anyway because we are surrounded by the love God has given us for one another. Breaking up the big bad picture into smaller ones can sometimes help. Sometimes we notice the difference, sometimes our pain is so great we don't, but community and love do help on some level all the same whether we consciously share or not.
This is not to say that churches deal only with madness, and mahem. The church life is full of celebrations as well. Babies, weddings, all of life's celebrations are intertwined with all of life's hell- on- earth moments. Somewhere in there is a balance. Well, let's hope so.
The Pastor is usually the leader who fills us up regularly with God's words of love and sends us out into the world to share goodness in life. The Pastor is who we cry for when our world is crashing around us, when we cannot bear another moment of being human. Sometimes, our most trusted leaders and spiritual mentors offer us kind words. Sometimes we are given a tidbit from God's book to hold onto.
Most of the time, though, I have found the power of healing in Pastoral care has come from a Pastor's ability to listen. I know a few who excel at that art. They listen, intently, and look deep inside us and somehow, it helps. It helps a lot. There is something very immaculate about allowing our deepest, most thorny parts to come out, and to see them being accepted without limits. Often times, the problems have no immediate answer. Sometimes the best thing we can do or what we need to do is just be in the moment. Be in the pain; the darkness. These are the times when some Pastors come forth with their God -given gifts. Just being with us is powerful in our worst times. Just being.
So, what does one do when it is the Pastor who is carrying the burden? Yes, Pastors carry our burdens for us all of the time, but what happens when the Pastor is weighed down with his/her own humankind pain and suffering?
When a Pastor suffers, the tables are reversed. Whereas we (1 individual or family) may spend time with our honored Church-- guiding -light- minister to help us be in our own moments behind closed doors, or share our pain with our church community as we need to, or choose to, when the Pastor is the sufferer, he/she draws the attention of the entire congregation all in one fell swoop. What a quandry!!
As people, it is our nature to act. It is human nature to jump in and help solve problems for those around us in trouble or in pain. This is what we do. This is how we support each other.
Sometimes, there are no answers but time. Sometimes the best love we can give is our presence- our simply being present. Sit on our hands, and let it be known that we are here, and that we offer the comfort of simple love. Sometimes the hardest work God asks us to do, is the simplist. Today, let's remember how to listen to those around us. Let us work on being with each other in the moment. Listening with love and being-just plain being can be very powerful tools for healing.
Showing posts with label helping. Show all posts
Showing posts with label helping. Show all posts
Friday, May 11, 2007
Thursday, December 14, 2006
A respite day off
Today I took a day off. I had a few vacation days I didn't want to lose, so I'm taking them while we are still in an even numbered year. I love my job. You can read back through and see that. I love the Christmas lights I line my walls with all year long, I love creating different mixages for the staff consumption ( We are presently enjoying Melanie's Merry Christmas Mix which is almonds, chocolate, mini marshmallows, pineapple, cashews and good cheer)
I love filing, and I especially enjoy the challenge of filing something one day and trying to remember how and where I filed it the next. State of mind has everything to do with it and mine is everchanging. I like typing, scheduling events , ohhhh running the postal machine, distributing mail. I love putting people on hold. (Never do this when angry, you tend to forget them)
I like helping people understand Biz, our new copy machine. Biz and I are buds. I like hearing the folding machine going a mile a minute, because it means our tech guy is running a large mailing and that means that I'm not. I like running last minute errands for the dress rehearsal, or grabbing box lunches for a meeting. So many things to keep me busy.
I most especially like to tell my boss his next appointment is here. Yes, I love my job.
So I decided to take a day away from all this. Yes, friends. I took a day off. I needed to do something for me, something to feed my spirit. To renew my inner chia. So, I went to my home church and spent the day. I chatted with my favorite mentor church chick over church chickfeed,
I hugged every staff member i saw. I checked in with the business administrator to see how business is being administrated today, I planned the Christmas breakfast that I'm in charge of organizing this weekend. I cleaned out a box of crafts . I answered the phone, work called me and one of my 4 daughters called as well. I think it's neat that they know where to find me. If I'm not at one church I'm at another.......and I read a little. I ran last minute errands with the Minister of children- I'm her official volunteer admin assistant. I talked with the new youth pastor over how it's going. He still has that glazed look but I think he can run the copy machine now. I talked with my best work friend, who was worried when i wasn't at work, but was relieved when she knew I was at home church. She's a good egg, over easy, just the way i like friends. I talked with both co-pastors and the financial secretary who lives across the street from the latest extreme home makeover. It will be shown in January. For a week she slept with ear plugs and her head buried under her mattress. No kidding 24/7 they work to get those projects done. She was there for the "Move that bus" I asked her about it. I think she 's still a little tired because she said, "Well, they said Move that bus, and then they moved it."
Today was just like being at work except I didnt' get paid money for it , I got paid in love and friendship energy and i picked my day. Actually, the two partner up pretty darn well. I love my job and I love my home church. It's a good mix.
I offered a volunteer admin asst job to someone special at work church and she said yes. So now, when I'm not there, sometimes she is there and that makes the plants and office happy.
Offices need that flow to keep them warm and fuzzy. Home church and work church are all that.
I love filing, and I especially enjoy the challenge of filing something one day and trying to remember how and where I filed it the next. State of mind has everything to do with it and mine is everchanging. I like typing, scheduling events , ohhhh running the postal machine, distributing mail. I love putting people on hold. (Never do this when angry, you tend to forget them)
I like helping people understand Biz, our new copy machine. Biz and I are buds. I like hearing the folding machine going a mile a minute, because it means our tech guy is running a large mailing and that means that I'm not. I like running last minute errands for the dress rehearsal, or grabbing box lunches for a meeting. So many things to keep me busy.
I most especially like to tell my boss his next appointment is here. Yes, I love my job.
So I decided to take a day away from all this. Yes, friends. I took a day off. I needed to do something for me, something to feed my spirit. To renew my inner chia. So, I went to my home church and spent the day. I chatted with my favorite mentor church chick over church chickfeed,
I hugged every staff member i saw. I checked in with the business administrator to see how business is being administrated today, I planned the Christmas breakfast that I'm in charge of organizing this weekend. I cleaned out a box of crafts . I answered the phone, work called me and one of my 4 daughters called as well. I think it's neat that they know where to find me. If I'm not at one church I'm at another.......and I read a little. I ran last minute errands with the Minister of children- I'm her official volunteer admin assistant. I talked with the new youth pastor over how it's going. He still has that glazed look but I think he can run the copy machine now. I talked with my best work friend, who was worried when i wasn't at work, but was relieved when she knew I was at home church. She's a good egg, over easy, just the way i like friends. I talked with both co-pastors and the financial secretary who lives across the street from the latest extreme home makeover. It will be shown in January. For a week she slept with ear plugs and her head buried under her mattress. No kidding 24/7 they work to get those projects done. She was there for the "Move that bus" I asked her about it. I think she 's still a little tired because she said, "Well, they said Move that bus, and then they moved it."
Today was just like being at work except I didnt' get paid money for it , I got paid in love and friendship energy and i picked my day. Actually, the two partner up pretty darn well. I love my job and I love my home church. It's a good mix.
I offered a volunteer admin asst job to someone special at work church and she said yes. So now, when I'm not there, sometimes she is there and that makes the plants and office happy.
Offices need that flow to keep them warm and fuzzy. Home church and work church are all that.
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
God's mysterious gifts
The honor of the job ..........
I love my job. It’s like a dresser with lots of drawers. I’m in and out of them all day. The daily push and pull is interesting all by itself, but over time I have noticed unspoken perks. Lots of them. I get to see many different sizes, ages, types of people, but I don’t have to spend a great deal of time with anyone in particular. There is not enough time in the day for that- but I get to know lots of folks and I get to learn little bits of their stories. That’s a big perk. Every now and then, I am allowed into their lives, and those times are the most precious.
The Pastors play a large part in helping people through hard times. I see people experience the mourning and the joy that life gives them. My office offers a short-stop respite where the Pastors’ offices and sanctuary give deep and lasting comfort and peace. I’m a dot and a dash where the Pastors offer parentheses. ( ) warmth and love.
There is a member who brings pictures in almost weekly, for me to mail out. He keeps the church memories alive with random and spontaneous photos. Another comes to my office with questions about this and that, and she always writes down my answers in shorthand. One man shares my interest in Tai Chi, and he comes to grab a handful of discipleship bracelets every few months, so he can distribute them when he’s out and about. A young adult comes to water my plants and to inquire about the chronicles. He keeps me on task when I’ve let too much time pass without writing. Small, miniature members enjoy my treasure chest. I keep happy meal toys and stickers in there for little visitors. Brief Encounters, these special friendships. Brief and very very important. Each one different, and unique. A kaleidoscope of the world passes by my office each day.
Lately, an angel has touched down in my nest. She came carrying a huge burden of challenges. Her basket became too heavy to carry, so she had to drag it alongside her. I watched her grow into her sadness. I watched God take hold of her heart and open it to others. She formed a close connection with her Bible Study group. They extended their class into the summer to keep the connection strong. She walked a frighteningly unknown path every day. Even so-she allowed herself to be comforted and nudged along the way, she stayed on a clearly spiritual path. When her sadness reached fruition, her grief was surrounded, in situ, by so many who had grown to love her. She didn’t see what I could see.
She was wrapped tight with knots of pain, and was held and rocked with soothing friendships she had formed through her sad experience. She is unaware of the effect she has on those around her. They are so focused on her that they don’t see it themselves. It’s surely a God thing. Doesn’t God want us to be community to each other? To grow that way? Reciprocal relationships? Pure and simple love? It’s all there- the continuum of love and support is strong. She calls for and receives, and by that, she gives SO much that goes to those around her. It’s a win-win situation. The pain is there, but so is the love and with that comes the promise of better seconds, maybe minutes- and hours to days.
There was a time that the waiting was cumulatively hard, I could find no particle of ease to give her- so I “hired” her to be my admin asst. It was all make-believe, but I called her when she was late, I gave her things that needed doing, asked her advice, put her name on the sign in board… At first, she thought it a joke, an attempt at kindness from someone who didn’t really know how to help her but wanted to. After a few days, she began to wonder if maybe I was delusional, the front desk receptionists asked about the new staff member on the check in list and I said, “Leave it there a while- tell her she needs to do a better job at signing in and out- the next time you see her.”
I brought a more comfortable chair into the office and called it hers. We cleared a place on my desk for her to work. I begged for her help. She helped me clean out my closet, and I taught her the church chick secrets of mixing mixage for my desk.
She helped me do lots of things, but mostly, she helped me to know her better. We laughed, and we played office. We took a long lunch one day. When her best friend left town, I was the checkpoint for how she was managing. Time passed. Her darkness came, she lost a big part of her heart in the loss of a child-the grief that she carried lingers- I imagine it will for a long time to come. How can it not?
From where I sit, I see that she will remain surrounded by the friendships she has built. And if all else fails, she’s always got an office to hang out in.
Dear God,
Thank you for giving when it feels like you are taking.
I love my job. It’s like a dresser with lots of drawers. I’m in and out of them all day. The daily push and pull is interesting all by itself, but over time I have noticed unspoken perks. Lots of them. I get to see many different sizes, ages, types of people, but I don’t have to spend a great deal of time with anyone in particular. There is not enough time in the day for that- but I get to know lots of folks and I get to learn little bits of their stories. That’s a big perk. Every now and then, I am allowed into their lives, and those times are the most precious.
The Pastors play a large part in helping people through hard times. I see people experience the mourning and the joy that life gives them. My office offers a short-stop respite where the Pastors’ offices and sanctuary give deep and lasting comfort and peace. I’m a dot and a dash where the Pastors offer parentheses. ( ) warmth and love.
There is a member who brings pictures in almost weekly, for me to mail out. He keeps the church memories alive with random and spontaneous photos. Another comes to my office with questions about this and that, and she always writes down my answers in shorthand. One man shares my interest in Tai Chi, and he comes to grab a handful of discipleship bracelets every few months, so he can distribute them when he’s out and about. A young adult comes to water my plants and to inquire about the chronicles. He keeps me on task when I’ve let too much time pass without writing. Small, miniature members enjoy my treasure chest. I keep happy meal toys and stickers in there for little visitors. Brief Encounters, these special friendships. Brief and very very important. Each one different, and unique. A kaleidoscope of the world passes by my office each day.
Lately, an angel has touched down in my nest. She came carrying a huge burden of challenges. Her basket became too heavy to carry, so she had to drag it alongside her. I watched her grow into her sadness. I watched God take hold of her heart and open it to others. She formed a close connection with her Bible Study group. They extended their class into the summer to keep the connection strong. She walked a frighteningly unknown path every day. Even so-she allowed herself to be comforted and nudged along the way, she stayed on a clearly spiritual path. When her sadness reached fruition, her grief was surrounded, in situ, by so many who had grown to love her. She didn’t see what I could see.
She was wrapped tight with knots of pain, and was held and rocked with soothing friendships she had formed through her sad experience. She is unaware of the effect she has on those around her. They are so focused on her that they don’t see it themselves. It’s surely a God thing. Doesn’t God want us to be community to each other? To grow that way? Reciprocal relationships? Pure and simple love? It’s all there- the continuum of love and support is strong. She calls for and receives, and by that, she gives SO much that goes to those around her. It’s a win-win situation. The pain is there, but so is the love and with that comes the promise of better seconds, maybe minutes- and hours to days.
There was a time that the waiting was cumulatively hard, I could find no particle of ease to give her- so I “hired” her to be my admin asst. It was all make-believe, but I called her when she was late, I gave her things that needed doing, asked her advice, put her name on the sign in board… At first, she thought it a joke, an attempt at kindness from someone who didn’t really know how to help her but wanted to. After a few days, she began to wonder if maybe I was delusional, the front desk receptionists asked about the new staff member on the check in list and I said, “Leave it there a while- tell her she needs to do a better job at signing in and out- the next time you see her.”
I brought a more comfortable chair into the office and called it hers. We cleared a place on my desk for her to work. I begged for her help. She helped me clean out my closet, and I taught her the church chick secrets of mixing mixage for my desk.
She helped me do lots of things, but mostly, she helped me to know her better. We laughed, and we played office. We took a long lunch one day. When her best friend left town, I was the checkpoint for how she was managing. Time passed. Her darkness came, she lost a big part of her heart in the loss of a child-the grief that she carried lingers- I imagine it will for a long time to come. How can it not?
From where I sit, I see that she will remain surrounded by the friendships she has built. And if all else fails, she’s always got an office to hang out in.
Dear God,
Thank you for giving when it feels like you are taking.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)