Thursday, September 20, 2018

Helpful hints for entry into the Land of Nod

Quirks we creatures carry make life interesting sometimes.

Sleep, for instance-

Some can ride it for hours at a time. Some of us dip in and out of it, and others have trouble getting there, but once there, they can pretty much finish the evening troll. People like me are a little of both. I need a jump start and I dip. The deep dips often take me to the bottom and pushing off to the surface can turn into a gaspy wake up.

I used to jump into sleep, because I knew in two hours I’d be up again with sweet baby girl #1, then there were two, then three and with four in tow, sleep just wasn’t on the to do list.

I’m aged now, elderly, older than ramen noodles, and I’ve been assembling a bag of sleep tricks that has replaced my  now-ragged bag of parenting tricks.

READING…. This trick of the sleep has not been very helpful as I get interested in the story and don’t want to let go til the end.

WHITE NOISE… a fan helps me stay down longer. Sometimes I worry that I won’t hear the burglar when he comes in, but then, it is probably better not to know til too late anyway.

ROKU: I listened/watched Forensic Files until there weren’t any more. Cold Case was a close second to helping me ease out of my day and into the blissfulness of crime and murderous mayhem. The no commercials bonus added extra flowfulness.

PODCASTS: They worked for a while, Murderinos, Criminal, Criminology, but they fed the fear factor a bit much, and one can only have so many locks on doors and windows, bells on doorknobs.

And then….. I discovered You Tube!!!!!
First, I searched Police interrogations. I found the segments provided great quality second only to the white noise of the fan! In real life, the video footage of police with criminals was quiet, sedate. I mean, when you think about it, the criminal doesn’t want to make a scene most of the time. Yes, they can be loud and rowdy, but typically I found the suspect to concentrate so much on his story of lies, that the moments were relatively quiet. The interrogator also uses his inside voice and can be pleasantly accomodating. The authorities tip toe around the suspect saying the word.... LAWYER.

I search shopped and looked at  murder confessions and believe it or not, Ripley, serious murderers have little or no affect which translates into a deceptive lull that sent and still sends me to sleep.

A variety of searches work well for folks such as myself, the often- estranged- from- falling- to -sleep. Serial Killer interviews, Serial Killer sentencing, murder sentencing, court verdicts, and any mixture of the same family of searches.
On occasion, the true true crime You Tube scenes bring about curiosity and many times I’ll look up the name of the suspect to see how his or her case concluded.

Not sure how I stumbled into depositions, but man, they do the trick nearly every time these days. Depositions are comprised of highly detailed questions that find minutia where it lives and hides. 8 ways of asking the same question about any and every detail becomes just noise pretty quickly. The camera is on the deposed and you  hear the voice of the deposer and sometimes see a hand from behind the camera hold up a document to show and tell the severely deposed. I like it. Every now and then, I’ll catch an entertaining case such as-

A partner in a two man business of some kind of service like maybe security systems.
Interviewer: “So tell us your name and business.”

Unsub: "I am or was the partner with John Doe in Acme troublemaking, Inc.”

Interviewer: “Did you file taxes last year?”

Unsub: ‘Which year?”

Interviewer: “Any year.”

Unsub: “Not for a while now”

Interviewer:  “And why is that, sir?”

Unsub: “Because I haven’t had any income. I haven’t paid myself in my business because I wanted to be able to pay our employees first and so I have gone without since we started. Not a penny for my own self. I earn commissions on sales, and every single commission I have ever earned has gone right into the business for the sake of my employees.”

Interviewer, holding up a page for unsub to view. “Do you recognize this check? Written to you and signed by you for several thousand dollars? Actually, we have several checks like this one.”

Unsub: “Well yes, I have expenses and since I don’t pay myself anything at all, I write checks off the business so I can live."

PAUSE AND RUSTLE HERE

Interviewer: “What kinds of things do you pay yourself for, sir?”

Unsub: “Well, I got a new car, and for gas and maintenance on it, and of course I got a house, and food and stuff like that. I mean, I’m not paying myself, sacrificing for my employees, so it’s the least the company can do for me.”

Interviewer: “Sir, Can you tell me what the Stripper 66 Club is on this receipt?”

Unsub: “Oh yeah, that was a business meeting at a club.”

Interviewer: “Do you typically have meetings at a strip club?”

Unsub: “When we have a sale, we like to celebrate with our employees, but we only buy the first round of drinks, and they have to bring their own dollars.”

Interviewer: “Do you think it is inappropriate to use work email for personal purposes?”

Unsub: “Absolutely! We don’t allow it! I won’t have it! That is unprofessional!”

PAUSE, SIGH, CLEARING OF THROAT BEHIND CAMERA

Interviewer, holding up another doc: “This email was sent from your work email address to your administrative assistant’s work email address. Do you recognize the picture on this email as your genetalia?”

Unsub, perking up a bit: “Yes! Exactly! We work together so that’s a work email!!!”

Interviewer: “THIS INTERVIEW IS OVER”


Could not sleep through that one, but I sure found it entertaining.

3 comments:

Mamie said...

You're a hoot! And I <3 you!

Unknown said...

Don't know if this would interest you or not but there are podcasts here that might help you sleep.
https://www.justwannaquilt.com/

Unknown said...

Don't know if this would interest you or not, but there are podcasts here that might help you sleep:
https://www.justwannaquilt.com/