End of year etceteras

I blinked. I tried so hard not to, but I did anyway and now we are hours away from starting a new year. again. I blinked.

As I get older, sometime time doesn't flow by fast enough, and then there are other times when I am sure time is stuck in a groove. a groove. stuck in a groove.

Work church has been very gracious with me this year. They are every year, and I am still stunned by their thoughtfulness. I tried to be a secretary when I was hired, but despite my attempts at making this a 9-5 job, I have grown to know and love many people who venture past my office. Both churches remind me of fractals. Home church is just a smaller version of work church. Work church is just a larger example of home church in many ways. The people are really the same. Both are full of faithful people who are searching.

The day after Christmas, my boss called me at home. He was apologetic but pleading at the same time. He and an associate had participated in a funeral which was now over, and they had left all of their belongings in the church which was locked.

I came over right away and when I drove up, I saw two pastors in black garb, one with a lovely white stole on, the other holding her bible. They were walking in the drizzle of the day across the church parking lot. It struck me funny that of all the days in the year, Christmas day was the day the Pastors got locked out of their own church. Doesn't that sound a bit odd to you, too? I let them in and came back home. I forgot where God keeps the hidey key.

VACA- How little it takes

Although you'd never know it based on my job at church, I am an introvert. I used to think otherwise, for much of my life has been spent in front of crowds teaching workshops, or training other teachers, or in a classroom with a gaggle of children. I've done my fair share of speaking to City Council and have had many occasions to hold community events and dinners at home or in our back yard. For reasons I now understand, those times were just times when I was 'on'. In truth, I count on solitude to calm my spirit and to recharge my soul. We all need to find our individual balance between chaos and calm. I love to write and sew and read; crochet or knitting soothes and relaxes me; gardening heals. Cooking can be meditative. My comfort zone is tiny as well. I live in a circumference that I can walk to - work, the Y, church, grocery. It works for me. I don't travel much.

I love my job at work church because it gives me the best of both aforementioned siblings, Chaos and Calm. In the course of a day at work, I see many many people, but usually in drips and drabs. On busy days, a steady stream of people stop by the office or phone or email, and I enjoy that contact, but at the end of the day, I am ready for some quiet. I think that is one reason I like Yoga so much. Sometimes, when I'm in Yoga, I can hardly believe I used to teach disco dancing- the two are so completely at odds with each other.

My oldest daughter had a big occasion this week- her first conference event that she had planned and organized. She offered me an opp to go with her on a 'pretend' vaca. It was one overnight, and located close to two other daughters' schools so I agreed, then said, "Well, I dunno" then, " Sure, I'm going" then, " Well, maybe not". She was kind and patient, and I finally decided a change of scene was in order so I drove us up to Winston-Salem. She is good travel company. She told me she had planned a pedicure for me while she set up for the event so I'd feel more vacationy. It was a very nice treat.

We arrived without any unwelcomed travel hitches, and she headed into the conference area to set up shop.I left the hotel with directions in hand, and a few minutes later, I was parked and had my shoes off . I enjoyed the treatment. Mostly, I appreciated her letting me know ahead of time and the fact that she was so thoughtful as to treat me to such a luxury without coming along for the entertainment. I tend to sink into the massage chair and have been told I look somewhat like a cat or dog leaning and twisting into the bark of a good scratchy tree limb trying to "get" the tree to scratch just the right spot. In addition, my feet are extremely wary of strangers, and they tend to jerk and squirm in the hands of the pedicure artists. Twice a year, sometimes 3 times, I'll go through the torturous, in a good way, pedicure. I can't take it any more often than that.

We had a surprise dinner with my Wake Forest near graduate daughter, and were in bed in our nighties by 7. Yes, 7. I crocheted a hat for our newest youth director and his preggers wife, and lights were out at ten. I was up at 3 as per my usual wake up call, and emailed a bit - my daughter's anxiety kept her up so we visited in the dark for a few moments and back to sleep fell we.

She was up and out by 7; I took my time getting ready, then drove to Greensboro to see yet another daughter who is majoring in recreational therapy. We shopped, and had lunch and yarn shopped, I got a friend some needle sticker things, and used a coupon my daughter gave me to have my car washed. " since you can't do this in Raleigh, Mom", and then we just piddled around. I saw the "wall" and Outdoor Adventures where she works.

That afternoon, I drove back to Winston-Salem in time to watch my oldest succumb to a nasty stomach virus. I ended up sitting at the conference table handing out nursing certificates and packing up when it was all done while she spent time in the restroom- not resting. We drove home with the top down, hoping the fresh, albeit frenetic, blasts of air might keep her nausea at bay. It's hard to puke when you're in a convertible going 70 mph.

I dropped her off, helped her into her cozy apt, and I made it home in time for yoga. It was a good trip. Short and sweet and with most of my girls. I missed work, though. Yes, I did. No, really, I did.

While gone, on this extended trip, I called a buddy at work and reported in a few times, and emailed in between. I missed my work friends so much that I brought back special treats. A shoe shiner for one who loves shoes, a miniature bottle of lotion for one who appreciates those finer things, a makeup remover cloth, and a couple of cards- one said "Help" and the other had room for notes. I had looked high and low for these types of items while shopping in Greensboro, but alas, it was in the hotel room alone that the particular quality and perfect designs were found. Isn't that just the way? You look all over creation for just the perfect Do not disturb sign and there it sits hanging on your hotel door the whole time? I had fun giving them out when I returned today and I could tell they all appreciated tremendously, the thought that went into each and every specialized gift. I love my workmates.

My boss couldn't seem to find his special gift, and as I got up to go pull it out of his mail cubby i said, " Yes, you've been to Italy, and brought me a lovely mixture of beans for soup, but THIS present can't be found just anywhere." When he saw the trifold pamphlet titled, "NOTES" I could tell he was touched. That's just the kind of guy he is.

This morning when I came in, one of our building maintenance crew said she had missed my quirkiness. I guess she called it. Her gift was a day old flattened chocolate croissant, that had actually been the victim of passenger sittage. The delicacy was warm when I bought it, the day before. She seemed to feel special when I handed her the squashed paper bag. She knew my heart was full of good intentions. That's when she made the quirkiness comment. I can think of worse characteristics. I'll take quirky anyday. Doesn't hurt anyone, and isn't mean spirited. Sounds pretty good to me.

My next door office neighbor left me the sweetest note of what she did when I was gone.
"Missed you, made coffee, ate nuts, had gum, ( out of my desktop sustenance containers on my desk) missed you some more. " It was nice to come home to. You'd have thought I had been away a week.

The organist ( we are partners in desktop snackness choices) moaned that it was no fun sneaking the goodies if I wasn' t there to notice. He is an artist in so many ways, delivering moan-y missed-you comments being one. It was dramatic, loving, and delicious- made me feel glad to be back.

I think it says something special and good when you can be away a couple of days, and feel like you've been to Jupiter and back. I am grateful to have been missed.

Something awry happened, though. While I was gone, it snowed. It snowed paperwork on my desktop. A blizzard of work sat on my desk, sprawled and restless, listening to the mystery radio station, awaiting my return. How did that happen? Gnome and Watchbear( nicknamed Sparky) must have skipped out when I did because they are supposed to keep away extra work that tries to enter the office. Guess I'll have to talk to that duo next week.

Connections

Oh, boy how exciting when friends from one part of our lives meet another. Here at work church, one of the myriad ministries is the prayer shawl ministry. Monthly, this talented group of people sit together, clicking needles and sharing stories and questions. It is a peaceful time, and represents one of the especially good aspects of this church. I have often thought of just sitting in with them, bringing a pair of needles,and parking myself among the busy needle-toting friends, just to absorb their good energy. I think I could get by with yarnless knitting, at least for one session. I may give it a try.

Someone at home church was the recipient of a prayer shawl from work church. This happened some time ago. Recently, that friend at home church decided it would be interesting to try having a prayer shawl ministry, so she contacted me for more information. I sent her copies of the prayer shawl website, and some directions.

Today, I attended a knitting meeting, and it felt very special. Being a part of the beginning of something good feels like breathing deep, clean air. I enjoyed the women’s time and projects. Now, I want the two groups to meet.

I hope we can arrange a time for home church to field trip this way and meet and get to know our work church shawl ministry members. How cool is that? and, I hope to introduce my home church family to work church family members. Good + Good = Better, I'm thinking.

I feel like a proud mom.

Calling CAlling CALLING

Calling is a term that I hear a lot here. As a parent of young children, I became very familiar with the action form of that word. I called my children to lunch, called them on the carpet, called them to dinner.. I called them with a mom voice to find out who did what to whom? And I drew my flock back into the fold by calling them home.

I passed the torch as they grew into adolescence, and as usual, they took the term and ran with it. They discovered that calling is more fun via phone and they spent many an hour calling or being called.

Here in the church setting, calling takes on a whole new meaning. Being called is something that invites God into the mix. Had I known that years ago, I may have had better success in gathering my children, or enlisting their help around the house. Gosh, hindsight…..Consider- “Girls! Time to come in and clean your rooms!!” vs. “ Girls, I’ve been called to gather you and send you forth into your abodes to cleanse your rooms of idle dirty clothes and mislaid toys.” Now, doesn’t that sound better?

I fully understand the significance and powerful importance of being called. I was called to come and apply for this job a few years ago. I had no appointment. I had, in fact, just completed an interview at another church and was in shock at the prospect of working in that particular constrictive albeit Christian environment. I very nearly backed out and ran to my car. The scariest part was the feeling that I was going to be offered the job ( and I was) and had I stayed a minute longer, I may have been offered the job on the spot. ( oh, dear Lord)

Realizing this, I was “called” to say, “ Oh!! Look at the time, I’m late for picking up the girls at school, I’m sorry, but I really must go!” No connection sparked in my interviewer. My girls were all in high school or College by then, how likely would it be that I would need to race to carpool? But thank gosh for that calling. It got me out of there.

Driving home, I decided to scope out churches close to home and just go for it. I went home and googled churches and found a few close by and HBUMC came up. Something about that particular church tugged at my hem. I had taught summer camp many hundreds of years ago and I liked the energy there. I checked out the site and saw the opening and then I thought to my interview -dressed self, “Self, get your wrinkle free bod over there STAT” and I did. I just walked right in. Immediately, I felt at home. I asked to see the business administrator, and the front desk volunteer sent me back to his office.

I had nothing to lose, I had not planned this visit, I just felt the need to go forward so I did. The business administrator sat across from me frozen at my daring delivery. I told him outright that I thought they needed me. How insane is that? Don’t answer that. I can’t explain it, I just spontaneously spilled my heartfelt thoughts. He started out saying if this turned into an interview, I’d have to make an appointment because the Senior Pastor and he were interviewing. I got around that by saying, “Well, let’s just pretend this is an interview, let’s just practice, okay?” and so we did. The next thing I knew, he held up his index finger and said in a Barney Fife anxious and excited way , “ Excuse me just a minute.” Apparently, he ran down the hall and grabbed the Senior Pastor by the tie and dragged him back into the office. I met the Senior Pastor and I found him delightful and warm.

Not long after that I had a full fledged interview with all staff and was so intimidated by the interview in the round,I decided to just come clean and I told them the hard truth about me. I feel a little shaky even repeating it now here to whoever has been tracking this blabber. I told the staff that I didn’t really know if I was what they were looking for or not, but that what they see is just what they get. I am just me. I like people, have lots of experience with kids and families, and my preschool Director experience and writing has given me some knowledge of computer skills, I’m willing to learn, and that’s about as good as it gets. I didn’t want to mislead any of them, and I was sure I didn’t know what I was getting into either. Many days, I still don’t know what I’ve gotten myself into. … So I just unzipped my whole soul and laid it right out there.

You know the rest of the story, now, I suspect. That is what calling has meant to me, friends.

But I think, generally speaking, the term called, well,it gets very over used. And I want to caution my readers to consider before voicing “being called to do this or that” is something I don’t want us to take for granted. Our hearts send out a call and the call is from something higher than our human selves. I’ve looked at it as nudging. Teaching from the Spirit. Some of that empowers us to make choices on our own. I’m not sure some “called” statements ring of truth in the calling. “I was called to be president of the PTA”- just doesn’t cut it for me. “ I was called to clean out my closet, and look! I was then called to shop!” nope. I’m afraid that if we overuse call, we may have a problem with hang ups eventually. I have no reason to voice this – maybe I was just “called” to. On the other hand, listening to my work boss and seeing what he is clearly called to do is a miracle in motion.