Ch ch ch ch ch changes

 Dear office, we've been friends for such a long time. How can I ever thank you? What can I say? There aren't words enough.

We've seen file cabinets come and go, haven't we? We've been the motel 6 for little mouse Chester and his family every now and then, too.  Remember when your wall was struggling and  strangling from  carrying those heavy burdensome curtains? Remember when we couldn't see that beautiful red brick welcoming the morning brightness in?

You were such a good sport, wavey window, to hold the birdfeeder for so long. How many birds came to see us? Too many to count. How many came inside? a handful at least.
Guess the landscapers won't be blowing  sunflower shells and leaf dust through the window anymore, eh? Remember the cold, colder, coldest winter when the ledge let a beef roast chill on it  so I wouldn't forget to give it to the boss to take home at dinner? What was it then? 20 degrees and windy? oh, yeah.  He was so surprised to see it  sitting outside on the  cold brick when he came asking for it, wasn't he?  You have been so resourceful, friend, and you have held and helped and been a safe place for me, the little folks, and many others.

I hear you are getting an updo. That's fine and good, but I have to tell you that no matter what your makeover looks like, I will always  hold you - just the way you are now- in my heart. When you are new again will you know me? Will you try? Pinkie swear? Love you lots.

*************

Come along now, office door sign that says, "Visitors are always welcome!"
Choose your travel box, doorknob sign that says, "I'm open even when I'm not"
Little folk, we're going on a field trip, so buckle up and hold hands.
Spunky man, there's  a new door waiting to bonk your tummy so it won't close tight.
Twinkle lights , let's go
The plants are probably vacationing  in their beachy bungalow by now. They will be wreaking havoc, no doubt. Hey, philodendron, Christmas cacti, Don't make me come get you, hear me?
Evergreen tree/Christmas tree, get ready.
Therapuke chair, get ready to be a friendly hugging chair, one floor up.
Recliner, we can't leave you behind, that would never do.
Yardsale find wooden stool- you are invaluable, irreplaceable, come on, too.
Nuts and Tom's pretzles, follow super bubble's bouncing balls.
Pin family, staple family members, Directionary Vol 1 How to do the job, speakers that speak old radio shows all day into my work space, it's almost time everybody.
All of you office supplies, stay in your containers, we'll make a train-

Brick wall, thanks for being such a wonderful serendipity to my day, every day. Thank you for your steady welcome of "I'm here, glad you are, too", for the last ten 1/2 years. Thanks for having my back; no, really.
Bye cardinal family, wrens and other little winged ones. I'll miss you so much.

Big changes upon us. Huge shifts, adventures I can't even guess about.  New temp work space waiting to be discovered and settled into by church chick and company.Where will the little folk be hanging out?  So much 'unfamiliar' and 'different' batting about.

I'm still just a church secretary wannabe. Some things never change.

Name tags

I have become a wiz at making the best of what I've got and celebrating the small successes in office university(this is on the job training). This week I learned how to do nametags -kind of. I kind of got ahead of myself and it went to my head a little bit.

Boss was having a meeting and I decided on my own that a real secretary would make name tags. My boss didn't even ask me. I just decided to figure it out.

So, I did. I went to Publisher and said, "Publisher, help me make name tags." An hour later, I was ready to print. While the printer was spitting the newly perfect nametags out, I stopped by my office buddies' office and said something like, " I learned how to make name tags. la la la la la "
They ignored me which should say something about how much faith they have in my announcements.

I picked up my name tags from the printer and there were 12 pages of labels with one name in the left hand upper corner of each page. sigh......

I came back to my desk and tried again. I printed again. 12 more pages came out with 30 Tom Smiths on the first page and 30 Joe Brown on another and .........

I felt defeated. and name tag label paper shy.

So, Jiminy Cricket in my pocket , I made the best of it. I cut out the top left corner tags and then paper clipped them to boss's meeting stuff. Wow. well, almost wow.

By then, the others came by to see the fruit of my announcements and i held up the sheets with the corners cut out. They were able to withold from releasing their amusement. Then I held up the sheets that were full of the same names. This was too much for them to bear.

Here comes boss. "OOOHHHHH Let's show these to Pastor Boss. He'll be so impressed that - la la la You can make nametags!! la la la "

I stepped in front of them and gave him the packets. He looked at the seemingly benign tags and said, "oh. okay." Then one of my "buddies" held up the partially sliced out sheet and the other held up the full sheets. and then he got it. They were laughing so hard I thought they'd need to call for "Cleanup on aisle 5". Obviously, I am not graduating from office university yet.

I went home.
I came back to work the next day.
The story isn't finished.

I came in and one of my buddies was already in, waiting for me. " Oh, Oh, church chick, I've got to tell you this. Boss came in the hallway last night during his meeting clutching the name tags you made for him. He looked panicked and I asked him what was wrong? and he said that when he set up, and put people's names at their places, he decided to , oh, what the heck, go ahead and put his on and realized that they were printed on the wrong side. so the outline would stick, but not the name part."

I turned around and started to go back home when i ran into him. 'Hey, it wasn't anything, we got the publications guy to do it, but struck me funny when I got everything set up after all that you went through to make them, murphy's law not helping you any, and then they were printed on the wrong side."

Well, I'm glad he can laugh about it. Clearly, I've got more name tag practice in store for me.
oh, good grief.

Gnomes at the office

I do not like to have my office or most any door completely closed. No funnybusiness here, I do NOT like it, and avoid that at all costs. Call me quirky, I don't even care. My inner self rules on this one.

I used to use tape, and then for a while I traumatized a door stop, using it as a wedge between the door and the frame.

Deep inside my heart of mushy hearts, I've always wanted a Gnome. Yes, one of the little wee fairie peops to guard the entry to my office home.

I finally found one, at the dollar store. My office friend found him, and as it turns out, he was on sale for .26 cents. I didn't know the dollar store had sales, did you?

So, now, I have a delicious gnome standing guard at my door with his hand up shading his eyes. He gazes down the hall looking for wandering and wayward unwelcomed invisible things. and, i might say, he does it very well.

The next time you come by, look down and say hi.

Copy machine crisis

Church ladies battle endless challenges with misguided office equipment.

Sure,Pastors have to work with human dilemmas, and I’m not in any way saying I don’t respect that, actually I’m quite in awe of my own Pastors who never seem to stop going to see someone, or looking out for him, calling her, checking on them. It’s an ongoing tug-0-war, balancing home with all the needs of the church members who need them. But if they weren’t so darn good at what they do, if they weren’t so confounded gifted, they wouldn’t have to worry with so much overtime.

In this day and age, I’m actually a little surprised that the concept of the cold-hearted church hasn’t cropped up. Build it, tall and big and creaky and cold, damp and aged to begin with. Fill it with a quirky staff, and that should keep the hoards away. Oh.
Ahem
Actually, that sounds a lot like my church, and people bicker their way in those doors, wait in the hall to see their Pastor … oh, well. Nevermind.

Getting back to the point- people can be full of whines and irritating habits, what have you- but sometimes office machinery takes the cake.

There’s a little known organization known as the POEIA (Pesky Office- equipment Intelligence Agency)…( The acronymn has a peculiar flavor-It sounds like a big big kiss you mouth to someone at the station when their train hits the track and they are rolling out of your life) It’s a cry-kiss-and-smile word.

Anyway, for centuries the poeia members have banded together to rid offices of CL’s. Yes, I’m talking conspiracy. You get the one sided copy figured out and then you discover the two-sided troubles. You finally master the two and here comes a booklet. I’m telling you there’s no end. Just no end.

Don’t ever let your guard down. This is where the crack comes in. You let your guard down, feel a little cocky at the copier, and you can be sure that inside that machine, your papers are being rearranged, turned upside down or worse. I heard of one case where the CL took long slow breaths while putting together a 4 page booklet. She finally got the pages to come out right and let out a yap yap. She thought, thought that no one could hear her excitement.

A few minutes later, when the head Pastor was reviewing the important booklet with his Associate Pastor, he called her into his office. Actually her psychotic phone called her in. She heard the announcement and went right over. He said, “ The service is in reverse.” She looked at the booklet, and sure enough the cover had been put on the back instead of the front. Horrified, she rushed down to the copy machine to make the adjustment.
“I’m sure I checked that , I’m just sure.” She thought to herself.

She reached for another sheet of depression green and alas…. Someone had eaten the whole thing. The paper was gone, the cubby vacant.
Criminy! I only need one!

She searched through a stack of discarded ,homeless sheets and found a lone green ranger huddled and crumpled in the corner. She pulled it out, went into the Parlor where the linens were kept, got the iron out and ironed the rejected sheet, then added it to the booklet and stapled it together.

Another crisis averted.



Church Chick