Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Random comments roaming the halls

A custodian, who has an aversion to living creatures who have become non-living ( humans only. This custodian thoroughly enjoys killing wild game) is working nervously in the fellowship hall preparing the space for a funeral reception later in the morning. He is so involved in his work, he becomes unaware of his surroundings. The double doors open behind him. He does not notice. It appears that a smudge on the glass top table has caught his attention.

A walnut box, shiny and decorated with brass handles rolls his way. Something pops/creaks as it approaches him. He stops cleaning and glances to the side where he is looking face to face with a person who was of this world just yesterday. She is dressed for success, and is peacefully resting in her satin enclosure.

.......The secretary,rushing around to manage picture taking, service recording, and other chaos, walks past the front desk where she sees the usual Monday receptionist, reading her usual Monday novel. Sitting slightly behind her, in a child's chair, is none other than the custodian. Had he been a dog, his ears would have been back and his tail trembling between his legs.
" Uh, hey. Mr. Boston- what are you doing out here? I thought you were getting the reception ready?" the secretary asked
" Yeah, well, it's clean enough for now. "
"okay. " She left, but not before noticing his palor and the small collection of bitten off nails that lay at his feet.

Checking phone messages.VERY anxious and aggressive caller.
" This is Miss DeVARYus Blogstrum calling. I need to see you right this emergency minute.
I need to come get my light bill paid for because this is an emergency and they are gonna cut my lights off right now if I don't come down there right now this is de VARY Blogstrum calling and if you don't pay this bill right now, my oven will not work and this is an emergency and you need to call me at 555-7755 555-7755 555-7755 555-7755 DeVARY us Blogstrum. Please call me right now."

I hang up after writing down all of the messages and the phone rings. " THIS is DEVARY us BLogstrUM and i called you and you did not call me back and it is an very urgent emergency. I need you to pay my light bill right now it can't wait they are going to cut off my lights right now."

" Ms. Blogstrum, I just listened to your message, and you are welcome to come down here now if you'd like. I can't make any guarantees, but bring the bill and your Id and we can talk about it.

"Right NOW?"

"Yes, I'll be waiting for you."

"Oh, i forgot I had a death in the family, I can't come right now. and i got , well how about in 2 days? CAn I come then?"

"You have a death in your family?"
"Yeah, I forgot about that."

"Sure, come any day you can. I'll be glad to talk with you, sorry about the funeral"
" What?"
"Oh, are you going to the funeral for the death in your family?"
" Oh, yeah. Uh, yes I'm going. I gotta find out when it is"
" Okay, well.see you when I see you."


Member undergoes BIG surgery. I'm talking major organ inside out and round about surgery.
Equal to having legs and arms taken apart and put back to gether. Big Big. BIG.

Member calls.

"Tell me about Melissa May's surgery. I heard she was rushed into surgery"

"Well,yes. She was operated on at 6 a.m. and the surgery lasted til midnight, but she made it."

"Good, so is she home today?"

Good. so is she home TODAY? Did you get that, people?

It's been a day. oh, boy.

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