Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Mirrors are us

We all know that renovations take longer than long. Our ladies, restroom has been under construction and reconstruction and renovation on a rotating basis since I started working there. It puts the passing of time in place.

You may have seen at some time a prehistoric timeline of the world? Take off the prehistoric and replace it with women's restroom and it's the same thing.

I'm not complaining. We've had toilets working ,mostly,all along, which is most important . There were very few times I had to go across the hall to the men's room in a hurry- and I have to say I am quite impressed with the ability of the human mind/body to adapt. After only 2 or 3 emergency runs to the men's room, with a guard standing watch for me outside, I successfully learned how to pee standing up. Maybe women need those urinal things too. It's a little tricky, but doable. Of course I'm just teasing. ....probably.

So the women's room has been undone, redone, plastered, painted, prayed over, left to set a while and re-sinked. It's been a thrill. With one exception. The mirrors.

From where I sit, in my church chick nest, I hear many comments from passers by in the hall. There are lots of frustrated fusses about the lack of mirrors in the restroom. The need for mirrors in the ladie's room is a real one and it points to the diffrences, well, some of them between men and women.

Men don't care if the have spinach stuck in their teeth. They rarely have bra straps that show, and very few men wear slips that creep down beneath their skirts. Men who wear lipstick typically go for the clear gloss, so they don't need a visual check. Men just don't have the same needs. and yet- where are the new mirrors in the newly redone restrooms? Why, the men's room of course. Perhaps I should change them out with posters that have smart sayings on them, like " You the man", or "Please check shoes for trailing toilet paper before exiting", or maybe even "XYZ- made you look!!" I don't know. I'm still thinking. I do know that the bloodpressure of the female restroom attendees has hit an all time high. So, I did what any self respecting Church Chick would do. i put on my cape and solved the problem myself. The response hasn't been addressed by the Board of TRustees yet, and my boss hasn't said," please remove", so I guess I'm not in trouble. well, not yet, anyway. In fact, I'd say the laughter gauge is running a little higher, and Ilike that song.

I "installed" two products of the finest quality. One, a lovely oval sheet of aluminum foil. Taped it to the wall myself, with a note above it saying "CAUTION, OBJECTS MAY APPEAR MORE DISTORTED THAN THEY ACTUALLY ARE" or something like that. and I was pleased to notice that the silver tray I "borrowed" fromthe kitchen sits nicely between the two sinks. It is titled," Mirror Mirror on the wall, who is the fairest?.....

Holiday distractions can keep our spirits in check sometimes, and when the new mirrors wear out their use, I'll bake cookies on the aluminum and serve them on the tray. How's that for multi-purpose?


Kerygma said...

Oh goodness, your blog cracks me up. I'm an intern at a huge church with a fabulous office manager whose job is pretty much running the church and keeping the earth spinning on its axis. I'm learning a lot from her, and I'm definately going to point her towards your blog.

Lisa Phelps said...

I got a laugh out of reading this. The only thing that I would say is that it seems like a lot of women these days don't wear slips either.