Monday, June 20, 2005

High security copy machine codes

Sometimes she felt like Anne Southerland, or the nameless stenographer on Perry Mason. How long would it be before they realized she was not a real secretary, admin assistant, copy girl. When would they figure out that she was Just. Playing. Office……

Adventure for the day- The copy machine has a security code. Why, you may wonder. Perhaps it is because without it, the possibilities of terrorists printing terrorist pages becomes more possible. Perhaps there is the threat that the secret hidden inside the machine will be exposed without the security code. Of course, I know there is a leprechaun who lives inside that thing, I learned that early on. I think he's 6th cousin twice re-glued to the shoemaker elves. I heard that modern day changes drove them out of leather and into paper,but that's just rumor. The point is that the copy machine has a very very complicated secret code that is only given out to new employees under the full moon. The number is.... 4444When you put in too many 4’s for the copy code, the machine will print out 440 of whatever you wanted to copy- even if you only wanted one. The “pause”button is useless as it ignores those who make such a frivolous error. “Stop” doesn’t work ;and you can push the reset button until the plastic cracks, but the machine, when pushed to the too many 4’s level will print /vent until all 440 virgin white 20 pound sheets are marked.

Helpful hint for the day- Sometimes, in the course of our busy office days, we come across exiled piles of mistaken paper gangs. The misfit pages suffer dreadfully from low self-esteem, having been tossed aside because of their mismarkings……Rather than discard the already insulted sheets, cut them into useable note-size paper. You’re happy to have something to write on, and the paper is glad to be reborn as useful memos.

Needless to say, I have an abundance of homemade note paper. Why, I'm sure I have at least 440 pages cut into note taking pages. At least.